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Terms & Conditions

I’m not a big fan of elaborate documents that no one is ever going to read, so I’ll just keep it plain and simple: by doing business with me, you agree to each and every term and condition below.

 

Providing me with legally obtained information only
In case you’re going to hire me to send out email campaigns, you don’t ever hand me email addresses that were obtained in any other way than through double opt in. In case you do, you will go the whole nine yards to prevent any financial or reputational damage from heading my way.

 

If I do suffer the consequences of your (lack of) action(s), you are liable for the full amount of it. Also, under no circumstance will you claim to have acted illegally or to have broken any laws (local, national or international) because of following my advice.

 

Paying my invoice(s) in time
I really don’t like being overly strict, especially since I hope to welcome you as a new client and I know you’re not “one of those people” who don’t pay their invoices in time. However, my family counts on me to bring home the bacon and some of my past clients have not been very good at paying my invoice(s) in time. This means you have to suffer the consequences, so here we go:

 

You expect me to do my work in a timely fashion. For this purpose, we agree on project deadlines. I meet those deadlines, period. If I ever fail to make a deadline (this happens only once in a century), I will inform you before the deadline has passed.

 

Likewise, I will give you ten business days to process and pay my invoice(s). Unless we explicitly come to a different agreement (now is the time for you to speak up, not after I’ve sent you an invoice), it’s that simple.

 

What if you’re late
If you’re late, I’ll send you as many reminders as it takes for you to pay me. One reminder is on me. After that, I will charge you for the extra time that I have to spend on collecting my money. I don’t *want* to do that, so please don’t make me.

 

Now I just know…
…that none of the above applies to you. Because well, let’s face it: you’re good people, right? So thank you very much for you taking the time to read all this legal mumbo jumbo and please remember: Ray the Mailman is a nice guy!

 

Service “levels”

Last but not least, a quick word about service “levels”. We’ve all heard or read about it, but here’s a little reminder of what I like to call the “Holy Trinity of Providing a Service”:

 

  • GOOD and CHEAP service won’t be fast.
  • CHEAP and FAST service won’t be good.
  • GOOD and FAST service won’t be cheap.

 

That means you get to pick two out of three. Two! 😉